I meant to write last week but I was upset about the departure of a good friend and colleague from work. The past few weeks have been extremely stressful and difficult. I read through some notes, books, highlights, snippets. I went to visit family in the cemetery, which helps me center myself. This time none of what I did worked for me. I sat in the quiet and watched for stillness and waited for some answers.
Instead of reflecting on all the things that brought me to this place mentally, I started to examine what I could do to help move myself forward. I know what type of environment I thrive in and what I need from people. I also know that no matter what role, level, or actions I am a part of, I need partners and leaders.
We have more leadership books and guides today than ever before. If someone wanted to change their behavior, they could read a book. They could phone a friend; they could look inward and study themselves and identify areas of interest to explore and expand their horizons.
I believe based on my experience that a very small percentage of people have a true desire to develop themselves for the benefit of themselves and others. Instead, many people choose to wait, watch and allow the world to decide for them what will happen next. Even if someone appears to be strong, this power and strength is a front. One move to the left or right and things fall apart.
We have a crisis on our hands with leadership. Bad behavior is acceptable except under the condition that someone doesn’t violate an obvious outspoken and highly sensitive rule.
Let us say I work for a large company, and I am violating rules pertaining to compliance. If someone on my team discovers these rules are being violated and does all the right things, it will take a great deal of time to get the matter resolved and it may wind up at a personal cost of the person reporting me. This means that both of us will pay for my bad actions. Leading up to the point in which the person reports me, they may have tried to talk to me. They may have spoken to others. The wheel over time was increasingly squeaky but no one seemed to care. Their health declined, they became stressed, they couldn’t find a way to get the right attention. Fact is, the compliance issue would have a material impact on the company not them personally, but they understand the difference between right and wrong. At least they believe they understand the difference. Where are the leaders?
Same person walking down a hallway, and I say to her “hey hot mama.” I am essentially one action away from being severely counseled and released. To this point, I’d like you to know that I don’t believe either offense is good or tolerable. What I am sharing with you is that it is very likely that I would see a repercussion for my comments about her vs my behavior concerning compliance which could have millions of dollars of impact at my company.
After many years of working in multiple organizations, I believe this is common. Many organizations have weak leaders with low EQ and in some cases, they are plain stupid. They got into their position through attrition, politics and luck. I am not suggesting all leaders are like this but if the political scene is a reflection of what is going on in the world, don’t you think we are in some trouble?
I’ve landed mentally on the thinking that we can only help the people who want to be helped. The focus on the small percentage of the population that has a desire to be a good leader. The recognition of those who choose to look inside and outside.
Maybe it has always been this way, and I didn’t see it. For the leaders who are standing among the fallen, I hope you are not alone and if you feel alone, I hope you find your pack, they are out there.
Great observation Howie. Yes, we have created a society lately of either you are a bully or a snowflake (victim). Good leaders stand up to principals and morals and we have seem to have stopped this from happening early on by just as you described…no room to even gesture of friendly conversation without being taken to the extreme. We are becoming robots instead of human beings. Maybe this is the world we are creating, where a rule becomes code for AI and then we don’t even have to think about it anymore as the rule will prevail at all costs of our humanity.
In many cases, HR has very little to do with the things that we think it does (Employee development, retention, morale, productivity, culture) and its primary focus is on risk mitigation. They are protecting the company from legal action and bad publicity and only tangentially “looking out for the employees” when those goals intersect. So, they’ll jump on anything that could reflect poorly in the press or result in legal action.
Compliance issues are usually a manageable financial risk and the marketplace doesn’t give a crap. (unless it’s a customer data risk). A lot of big corporations deliberately plan on paying the penalties rather than fixing the problems because it’s cheaper to just pay for non-compliance. The governing bodies have become smarter and have implemented sliding scales to deter this behavior, but it’s still often less risk to accept the risk than fix it. I’ve seen outright fraud reported, accepted and penalized through the system and basically spackled over rather than addressing the culture and lack of controls that allowed it.
If you start getting into more subjective behaviors like tolerating crappy leaders, you have to look at what companies are measuring to see what the likely outcomes are. Bad leadership can still end up with short-term positive outcomes, but it’s rarely sustainable. But look at the average tenures of CxOs and senior leaders and you’ll see why sustainability is often ignored. Burn out your people, slash expenses, gut your talent, increase your multiple and set up the next guy to clean up the disaster you left behind. As long as shareholders “get theirs” today, there is very little thought or consideration for the future. Rewards and pats on the back all around for the leaders who made the numbers for the quarter and blame the workers for the inability to maintain them year over year.
Honestly, this is a big part of what’s going on in politics right now. We have an extremist “give me mine” group who just wants the reward today with no thought for the future or how it impacts others. On the other side we have the “needs of the many” group who is effectively punishing success and spending for a utopian future without necessarily considering the impact to people today. Extremism on either side just makes things worse in the long run. Unfortunately, both sides are willing to accept extreme behaviors and decisions to get to their own individual goals.
What we need is more people listening to each other and behaving with respect and not tolerating “asshole behavior” simply because it meets a selfish short-term goal. We need to start thinking and behaving like a society again and considering the needs and best interest of everyone. Not just shareholders or CxOs or even line workers. Not just one party or another. But everyone who has skin in the game. We can’t exist in silos.