If you are angry and upset right now, it makes sense to take a moment to slow things down.
It is easy to talk about being calm vs finding calm. To find calm, you have to slow down the chatter. Talking to yourself, feeling all the input and information from the outside, absorbing everything. It is painful to feel everything. Even too much of a good thing isn’t a good thing. You need time to recover, to rest to rejuvenate.
Why am I so angry?
I have asked myself this question many times. I admit it, I am angry. It is always an undercurrent along with the hum and swish of my tinnitus. My anger doesn’t go away, it just dims to an extent.
Instead of trying to dissect this anger by myself or just roll into the pit of despair, I take action to live with it. I also look for space to slow down everything while I feel it starting to overtake me.
The great writer and philosopher of our time Stan Lee created the Hulk to explore the duality of human nature and aimed to create a character that was both hero and monster. He was misunderstood by and forced into conflict. His character explores identity, inner strength and outside of the consequences of science a lot of dynamics to our personality. Over the years, many writers took liberty with the character and made Hulk many things beyond what he was originally born to be. There are three things about Hulk that I’d like to share with you for consideration.
- In the Marvel movies, when Banner was able to control becoming Hulk, he was asked how he could control it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Qq6dQwLh1s “That’s my secret Cap…”
- In Hulk https://youtu.be/EbfyjiwTUIE?si=h5PCy3tRxFSda6OW “Do you think, you could live with it? Take it.. take it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
- https://youtu.be/dHSxQ2RRD9o?si=XITmzqBM7SI92klt “Don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”
Yeah, well, me too. I think some of us have our own version of Hulk living with us. Ironically, after Hulk comes out, he (mostly) is part of a good guy superhero team, but he is fueled by his anger and rage. I don’t think this is a good thing per se, but I do believe it speaks to our nature.
Hulk isn’t the first, we have a history of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde scenarios in all of human history.
So many places in culture that we reference this part of who we are. Instead of accepting it, we seek to put it in the box.
You see, I am not saying that calm solves for anger, what I am saying is that it allows us to explore our anger in a different way and manage it.
I am absolutely guilty of allowing Hulk to just escape and destroy things. In fact, I acknowledge that I have lost control of myself and been in such a rage that I was disoriented and watching myself as a third party.
That is all the more reason to seek out ways to slow things down.
If you are still interested:
We can certainly explore or discuss this more if you are interested. There is a few simple points I’ll share with you that I hope may help you. This continues to help me.
Acceptance and self-compassion are helpful. If you don’t take any time to be with yourself and you constantly distract yourself with things, you’ll never find peace.
Look for patterns in yourself and triggers. I try to figure out why I am angry sometimes and what is causing me to get into it. I reflect on it and sometimes I can slow things down enough to manage myself, still be angry and suffer less of a consequence.
I do the mindfulness stuff, I use Tripp (shout out to the Tripp team, it is very helpful).
I create things, I make them and give them away.
I see a doctor that I like and that “gets me.” Thanks to the VA, I finally have someone I can talk to about things and I feel he doesn’t judge me. I need that.
Finally, I work hard to stay focused on my purpose NOT legacy but my purpose today.
I don’t think Tyson was trying to be an asshole but what he says absolutely resonates with me. “I don’t believe in legacy. It’s just another word for ego. I’m just passing through. I’m gonna die, and it’s gonna be over. Who cares about legacy after that?”
What does this mean to us?
Something for you to think about.
Hey you, take a chill, relax, work on your stuff, be angry sometimes, do you, don’t worry about the things you can’t do anything about, live your life, and try to love and enjoy as much as you can.
Love ya!
H