I very recently resigned my position as a Highly Qualified Expert (HQE) for the Department of Defense. The last three years of working in this capacity have been exciting and challenging, disappointing and inspiring. One of the most important affirmations and discoveries I made during this journey boils down to witnessing both courageous behavior and failures in upholding personal values, as well as a troubling tolerance for bad behavior. There seems to be a higher propensity for people to tolerate bad behavior, especially when it is highly visible and witnessed by others. It seems deeply human to walk past someone getting a beat down. Many of us think we would stop and help, but the truth is far more complicated.
When I was asked to join the DoD on this short journey, it felt like a calling. I was excited and teary-eyed at the thought of having another chance—at my age—to serve our country in a way that could potentially impact millions of lives.
The start of this journey felt like standing at the base of a very high mountain. I knew things would be challenging, but I couldn’t have imagined the obstacles, mountain lions, and wolves at every turn. The lesson here is that our world remains safe and secure because of ordinary people. When ordinary people fall into traps left by bullies or become cowards out of fear for their own self-preservation, we find ourselves in an unsafe and less fair world. This dynamic reminds me of the kapos in Nazi concentration camps—prisoners assigned by SS guards to supervise other inmates and perform administrative tasks. These prisoner functionaries held positions of power over fellow inmates, often overseeing forced labor assignments both inside and outside the camps.
The herd mentality is real. Many people line up and fall in to do exactly what they are told. Self-preservation within systems designed for team dynamics doesn’t work well. People easily lean into values that benefit the few or the one rather than the whole. When leaders prioritize their own self-interest as their primary goal or objective, entire systems are put at risk. This dynamic is powerfully illustrated in the film A Few Good Men. Lance Corporal Harold Dawson and Private Louden Downey are two ordinary Marines who find themselves on trial for murder after carrying out a “code red” disciplinary order given by Colonel Nathan Jessep. They believed they were following lawful orders, but when Santiago dies as a result, Colonel Jessep refuses to take responsibility for his role in the tragedy.
While stories within the DoD may lack the dramatic flair or clear moral resolutions of these examples, instances of leaders making poor decisions with little accountability do exist in smaller but highly impactful pockets. When leaders fail to uphold core values, it undermines entire systems. Jessep’s lack of accountability ripples through the ranks, fostering an environment where ethical compromises become routine. Dawson and Downey’s misguided loyalty illustrates how ordinary individuals can become entangled in systemic failures when leadership falters. This post focuses more on Dawson and Downey—emphasizing that individuals at any level have a duty to uphold values and ethics aligned with societal principles.
When leaders make decisions but offset risk and accountability onto others, systems fail. Lack of accountability, lack of action by leadership, and lack of values in practice are contagious behaviors. People throughout systems watch what others do and begin to mimic those behaviors themselves. What would humanity be if there were no concept—at any time or place—of G-d watching?
In the face of adversity, it’s often the actions of ordinary individuals that shape the course of history. While leaders may hold explicit power, it’s the quiet, unseen choices of everyday people that truly define our world. The responsibility to do what’s right—even when no one is watching—is a powerful force that leads to extraordinary outcomes. In many cases, no one knows when an individual does something right or wrong.
The Power of Ordinary Actions
Ordinary people have unique opportunities to make impactful decisions without recognition or spotlight. These choices—made quietly and often without visibility—can have far-reaching consequences. It’s in these moments that true character is revealed: when we stand up for what’s right or succumb to pressures of self-preservation.
The Responsibility of Words
Words hold immense power—they can inspire, incite, or transform lives. As ordinary individuals, we have a responsibility to use words wisely, understanding their potential impact on others and the world around us. Whether in personal interactions or professional settings, how we communicate can be a force for positive change. Words can change perspectives; they are what separate us from beasts—and they can help us reach heights we never thought possible.
Finding True North
Our moral compass isn’t guided by external forces but by the energy field within our hearts and minds. By looking inward at our core values, we can find direction and purpose even in life’s gray areas. This internal guidance system helps us navigate uncertainty while staying true to our principles.
The Courage to Stand Up
In times of adversity, it’s easy to become a bystander or prioritize self-preservation over action. However, true courage lies in standing up for what’s right—even when it’s difficult or unpopular. By refusing to accept unethical behavior and holding ourselves accountable alongside others, we contribute to creating a safer and fairer world.
Honoring Those Who Came Before
Throughout history, many ordinary individuals have performed extraordinary acts of kindness, bravery, and selflessness. By remembering their stories—and the impact they’ve had—we find inspiration to carry on their legacy. Whether helping those in need, standing against injustice, or simply being kind in daily interactions, we all have the power to make a difference.
Being an ordinary person doesn’t mean we can’t have an extraordinary impact. By embracing responsibilities with courage and staying true to our values—even in challenging moments—we honor those who came before us while paving the way for a brighter future.
I am like most of you: an ordinary person trying my best each day. I hope you find strength and courage during difficult moments to make decisions aligned with your core values.
A close friend recently shared something profound: “Right and wrong are clear—the gray is dangerous territory where one should not linger.” His words hit hard because I had believed the gray could be neutral ground—but now I understand it’s often where compromise begins.
your best article. Could not agree more.
Great article, Howie. But I’d like to offer a slightly different perspective on the “herd mentality”. My father was in the RAF before I was born and he was also “very British”. He drilled into me the importance of structure and the chain of command was part of that. It was further reinforced through years working for the Canadian government and then for private industry integrating with and supporting the US DoD. I do firmly believe that it’s everybody’s responsibility to speak up, but there is a point when once your views have been heard, you have to trust in your chain of command to act on the feedback. The people on the front lines don’t always have the full perspective and if everyone tried to take the reigns, the system would fall into chaos. Unfortunately, that has bitten me more than a few times in my career, but I still believe that to be fundamentally true. Criticize in private, but when it comes to execution, there are times that you have to suck it up, commit to your orders and support your COC.
Unfortunately, when your leaders are unworthy of trust, don’t listen to feedback and provide unethical or even illegal orders, then you have a problem. But that often happens after years of “boiling the frog”; it starts as a series of questionable orders that are somehow supported and rewarded by the people above them and you start to see them as “unorthodox, but effective”. Given enough time, “bat-shit crazy” starts to look like business as usual. It’s not that people don’t care or that they’re blindly following orders, they’ve just found justifications that let them sleep at night and ways to work within the system. They’re still trying to do good work in a bad situation, but the water has been heating up and swimming in hot frog feces has become the norm.
Many of the members of “the herd” are actually the Anti-Jesseps, they’re the ones who try to find ways to work within the crazy to protect those under them and continue to do meaningful work in untenable circumstances. I choose to believe that at least some of them are looking for opportunities to change the system from within. Sometimes courage means sticking it out for your team and customers and not diving on the hand grenade. But it’s a difficult balancing act and the grenades keep coming.
We should learn from “gray”. The lessons of history stand strong as a warning!