Rebecca

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/newbernsj/obituary.aspx?pid=161084058#fbLoggedOut

NEW BERN – Rebecca M. “Becky” Strocko, 36, passed away on Monday, November 5, 2012, at her home.

She is survived by husband, Steven M. Strocko of the home; three daughters, Kiarra Strocko of Tallahassee, Fla., Rell Strocko and Poppy Strocko, both of the home; parents, R.G. and Emilie M. Walker of New Bern; brother, Jordan Walker of New Bern; two sisters, Angel Shepard of Raleigh, N.C., and Rachel Dupre of New Bern.

She was born in Seoul, Korea, worked for the department of defense, attended Temple Baptist Church, and lived in the Taberna community for the past year.

Death is a mystery.   We think we know something about it but really, we know it happens to all of us and that is about it.  If you are still reading this just understand that the rest of what I have to say will not be eloquent.    I have no right to be angry but I am.   I am angry that a beautiful, vibrant, caring, passionate, silly, happy and absolutely GOOD person was stolen from our world.

Rebecca and my wife Erin were good friends.  I sort of just benefitted from knowing Rebecca through Erin.   I am lucky to have known her at all.   When she first took ill, you would never know because she just wanted to maintain some sense of normal.   Part of me wonders if I even have the right to write this but I have to think it is ok because it is my observation.  She carried herself as always and you could tell that she was always fighting.   I didn’t spend a lot of time with her but when I did Rebecca was always thinking of everyone else including me.

In my life, I have seen the death process a few times.

Each time was painful and each time was burned into my life, like a branding.  It’s like you can’t shake it.   I know a lot of religious people who have said “so and so is in a better place” or “not in pain anymore” or other cliché comments.    Good for them to feel that way but that isn’t how I feel.

Our world is forever scarred.  I know that we lose people all the time but I don’t feel that.    I do feel this and it hurts.

In the past few days, I haven’t said much about it or emotionally responded because I feel emptier inside than sad.   I haven’t looked for words to read or say about it until today.   I don’t know why today, maybe it was the picture on the counter that my wife shared with me.  It is in my head.   I am sad for her family and I am sad for my Erin.

I hope that our world models that of Jonathan Livingston Seagull and they we move from our world to another and another always and infinitely learning and becoming better.   In my eyes if that concept is real, Rebecca moved up two worlds this trip