You can’t know the pain I feel because you aren’t me and I am not you. It is true that my pain is greater than your pain. I know this because I feel this pain. I’ve been mistreated not just by you but by society. I am a victim. There is nothing you can do to remedy this and there is nothing I can do to change it. What is done is done. Every beating, every slight, every single thing you did. Everything I did, it will not change. You can’t understand, it is impossible for you to understand, you aren’t me. You aren’t part of my tribe.
Do you know who I am?
Beyond my origin story filled with challenges and impossible mountains to climb, I am also still me. The me that is part of a tribe, even if I don’t identify with it. I am what I am regardless of how I feel about it. I am still a part of that which you perceive creates your affliction.
I am a villain. I am the villain.
Do you understand why? If I am that which I am because I was born into this world with this genetic code and makeup, I automatically have no choice but to be that which I am.
What amazes me is that if I were to say the same thing about someone else, not only would I be a villain, but I would be enabling my victims by doing what they expect of me.
I write a lot about hope and working towards a better future, but I realize we are very much the same as we have been for a very long time. The people who are victims can say anything they want but they have no regard for crossing the line. They believe they are victims, and this mentality allows for a “no holds barred” approach to everything. Meaning there are no restrictions. Except now, everything seems restricted.
We can’t even talk about things we used to believe were facts. A fact is now something that we can debate because we feel a certain way about it. I don’t particularly like the direction we are going. It is no wonder that as days pass, I become less and less inclined to grow my circles. I find myself with a strong desire to “say less” as to say something may exemplify my badness.
On top of this, we are now going back through history to rewrite and analyze all of our mistakes and issues.
I’ll tell you; it is frustrating. We talk about fairness, equity and inclusion, equality but it isn’t the truth. The truth is we want to create villains, and we want to amplify our victimhood. If we do this, we can get people to admit the wrongs. If people admit what they did wrong, even if they actually never did it, there must be some form of action to repair the damage. We must fix it with our blood.
From my perspective, it will be a never-ending cycle of hardship and endless harm. There is no peace, but peace isn’t what people want. They want to raise their victimhood to the point in which it is celebrated as something they have overcome. In the end, even if they did overcome their challenges, they would still find a way to feel less than worthy.
It is a struggle as some of us want the world to be a better place. It may very well be that our idea of a better place is within itself is an outright act of hate. As we dig deeper into our generational pain, it seems that we are creating new pain. Something new to pass onto our children and their children.
At some point, facts, reality the things we are doing to the world itself may catch up to us and force us into a position where we will need to come together. As it seems that only through shared pain and misery can we find that which bonds us as a body.
As we may emerge from tragedy in sharing our victimhood and finding the villain in our shared common story. Maybe that villain is truly the hero….
Howie, either no one is a villain or everyone is a villian. We all came from a tribe of some kind but if we are all in this world as one human race, we need to know that the tribe only carries us so far in our traditions and eventually we have to encounter other tribes and traditions. How we accept or assimilate them and keep our own is the key to life. If we truly love unconditionally, we accept other as other and that doesn’t mean we accept all the traditions or what the tribe brings but we accept them as equal human beings. Imo, G-d wants all to be one with Him/Her and that means that we are all equal in G-d’s eyes so what tribe is better then the other? But some tribes try to understand G-d’s will while others interject their own wills upon the tribe. G-d’s will is that all people be one with Him/Her, so it is human wills that can bring the roles of villain or victim…not the way of the ONE.
Today’s meditation:
The human soul is the noblest being [God] has ever created. He also wants us to be aware that he knit the beloved soul of humanity into his own when he made us. The knot that connects us to [God] is subtle and powerful and endlessly holy. And he also wants us to realize that all souls are interconnected, united by this oneness, and made holy in this holiness.… When I look at myself as an individual, I see that I am nothing. It is only in unity with my fellow spiritual seekers that I am anything at all. It is this foundation of unity [this oneing] that will save humanity.… The love of God creates such a unity in us that no man or woman who understands this can possibly separate himself or herself from any other.
On that day, you will realize that I am in my Father and you are in me and I am in you. —John 14:20
Father Richard highlights Jesus’ teaching on union with God in the Gospel of John:
“That day” promised in John’s Gospel has been a long time in coming, yet it has been the enduring message of every great religion in history. It is the Perennial Tradition. Divine and thus universal union is the core message and promise—the whole goal and the entire point of all religion. We cannot work up to union with God, because we’ve already received it.