Helping people find work is not my day job. It is something that I do in between other things. Over the years, I have been able to construct a process of sorts. It is a simple framework with a very short list of things to do. Each activity seeks to help the person but also informs me as to what they really want.
Most people really want a connection with someone who will give them a job. They aren’t interested in any self-discovery or research. Please understand that they are kind and thankful, but they are looking for a very specific activity from me because they have a belief that I may know someone that can get them either to their current desired outcome or a connection to someone that can help them.
Once people get the connection and it works out, they move on to working. Starting with a new job, moving forward and figuring out everything from there consumes a lot of time and they are back to some kind of grind.
If a person is going through a rock bottom time, they don’t have enough money coming in or they have a lot of complicated issues around employment, they may not believe this is the best time for them to go through some sort of process. Some people also feel that they know themselves enough or they have enough advice from others that will suffice. As I have worked with a lot of people, I have seen patterns emerge, that are non-scientific of course. Every person is different, and they have their own stories but there are few things I’ll share with you that you need to know.
Most people don’t know what they want. If you ask them, they’ll tell you “I don’t know.”
Most people don’t know themselves. They know what they have done, and they know what they do. They know the role they play in their home. Even people who aren’t married or are young or alone, they have limited self-awareness.
Many people just want what they believe they deserve. This goes a lot of directions. Some people think they deserve a lot more than others. I have worked with many people who think they deserve a lot less than others. Men and woman also behave very differently at a fundamental level. Regardless, the person does not have a job and needs a job.
I Need and..
Can you please connect me with George over at Timbatsu corp? I see you are connected with him, and I’d like to speak with him please.
I absolutely make the connections wherever I can. Most of the time, if a person hasn’t done something like the Rising Leadership Forum from SIM or gone on a mental journey about themselves in depth, they stumble. I do my best to qualify the connections and outline how I know people, but things don’t always go as I’d like them to go. The things that people think they need and want are not generally aligned to what they really need. Sometimes, people don’t know what they need and they think that they know more than they do, so they assert what they think vs what they actually know.
I just need a job, and I just need a chance and, I just need an interview. The list goes on and on, but they needed something different and they didn’t know it. My frame of reference is tools. If you have the right tools for the job, things go much easier. You don’t require an analogy for this one, it is what it is.
The Process and..
For many people, the people you thought might be there to help you, are not there. When you first lose your job, there may be a temporary uptick in people caring and reaching out but over time, they go away and your lack of work isn’t their problem. As frustration grows and builds, your tone and demeanor show through like a Broadway sign overhead. If you look like shit and feel like shit, what do you think you show up to an interview looking like?
I am rounding this out for you and moving on. You think that you have value. You think that you either worked over years and developed value or skills that are marketable. If you are young and hungry, you think that you work hard or have talents or a degree or certificate and it makes you valuable. In some cases, you may not think you have value, but you have to do what is necessary to take care of you and yours. Going through the job-hunting process is hard. You have the automated systems, recruiters and head hunters, all sorts of people blocking you from being seen. There are stupid criteria that makes no sense at all and there are challenges all along the way. If you are very senior, it is very difficult since there was very little time for you to keep up with “all the things” and lead teams. Many IT people I know, can’t do IT work anymore, they don’t know it.
All this to say, getting knocked down is hard but getting knocked down and having a weight placed on your back every day, feels impossible.
This is the reason why, I regurgitate process. We all need to know where to start. Even if we think we know everything, we still need help. If I lost my job today, I would ask for help even with all the things I’ve done to help myself and others, I’d still ask because I am not immune to this situation.
What’s the difference between 2/8’s and Tree Eights??
Oh, Diceman tells the joke, he goes to school, and the teachers want him to do their work, right. “Dice, what’s the difference between 2/8ths and 3/8ths (pronounced TREE)?” He replies, “Dats what I say teach, what’s the f’n difference?” Oh, that was funny to me except for the realization of why it was so funny. I wasn’t good in math, and I could relate to the humor. So, what’s the difference? Life is much harder in society when you can’t measure things. Life is much harder when you can’t add and subtract or when you need to ask for help to figure out an area of something for building. How about calculating a tip at a business meeting? I guess I am not going to be the finance guy huh?
The difference between you and someone else is how you show up. How you have mastered YOURSELF. Not your craft, not “all the things.” People don’t give a shit about what you did, they care about what YOU can do for THEM. If you don’t know what you can do for THEM and I mean THEM, they are less interested in you. What does this mean? Your value in the job market starts with the advertisement both of the job itself and YOU. You are the brand marketing campaign for you.
No analogy required. You are the brand of you, you don’t represent yourself in a way that supports your brand, you don’t get the job. You will be beaten by someone else.
People see and believe you have value from their individual perspective. You are a thousand people to a thousand people. Who are you to them? Why would they want to advance you into the next round of an interview? Why would they want to bring you onto the team?
If you don’t know yourself, how would they know you? If you don’t know what YOU want, how would they know what you want? How would anyone know what to give you?
No one expects you to know everything about yourself but if you know more about yourself vs the other person, you are ahead. If your objective is to be your best and accomplish your goal of getting “this” job. You need every advantage you can get.
Not dragging it out but I’d like to hammer in the point. If you want to be a fitness instructor and you present as unfit, it will make it harder for you. Not impossible but more difficult. If you went on a journey and lost weight and could tell the story about it, you would have an advantage. In the eyes of some fitness companies, you may have MORE of an advantage if you were 500 pounds and now 150. This as opposed to being fit all your life. You know your story, and you can tell it, you have an advantage.
I Just Didn’t ..
I am very close to people who live great distances from me. I have a person that lives 10,360 miles from me that I am very connected. I have people in different us states and regions. Time zone differences that make it very challenging to find time to talk. I communicate with them frequently. I communicate with them enough to feel the connection both receiving and sharing energy, thoughts and emotion. We find time because it is important.
Are YOU important to YOU? Do you find time for you? Do you connect with you? Do you know you? Have you made an attempt to understand you? Do you just drone about in life until you hit a wall? Many people do and they find themselves at the end-of-life making statements about the things they “wish” they did.
The difference between you and them will be the most fundamental important aspect of you achieving the thing you want to achieve. I certainly haven’t heard it all or seen it all in regard to finding work. I have heard and seen some things. I’ll share a few with you because some of them suck.
Submitting 5000 resumes, getting scammed by active predators, automated intelligence systems, talking to people who “don’t get it.” The system is rigged, I am too old, I am too young, I am not good looking enough, I don’t have the new skills, the market sucks, the people suck, the rich suck, the poor suck, everything is out to get me and everything is too hard. I tried everything you suggested and it doesn’t work. I read every book, I did everything everyone told me. I hired a person and they suck. I hired an agency and they suck. I don’t want to spend more money on all this shit. I don’t have a job and I can’t afford anything and..
I can go on for some time because, I see so many comments like this, and I have been on the other side of being told many of these things. My interpretation is, that it is generally difficult to give a cat a bath. I don’t like my arms being scratched up and the cat doesn’t like the water, but sure Mr. Winkles smells like funkshaanooon. Sniff … Sniff.. anyone smell something round here???
So, hi, it’s me again, you don’t need to do anything I am suggesting or recommending, you can continue doing what you are doing and at some point, if you extend your savings or dig into your 401k or whatever monies you have, you’ll find a job. There is no question, you keep looking, you keep at it, you’ll get one. The thing is, the less you know about yourself and the less you understand about the market, you’ll just continue to play the luck lottery of finding opportunities with NO advantage.
Finding work, is being prepared for when luck and opportunity meet. If you are ready and you know your story and you impress a person or people with the value you bring to THEM, you get the job. If you don’t you don’t. Now, I will say, you have plenty of options to do other things BUT many people don’t want to do the other things. A retired two-star general driving Uber comes to mind. Probably a rare thing huh?
Last thing. It is important to filter advice. I dropped a paradox list below for a little interesting thinking BUT one thing to consider is filtering advice. If you don’t like the advice, don’t take it. Consider this, if you ask for advice, you don’t take it, you may lose the advisor or not gain the benefit of the advice. Bottom line is you need to THINK.<—
20+ Paradoxes that will change your life By Sahil Bloom + Sachin Ramje
- The Brakes Paradox Build brakes into your life that allow you to accelerate and hit turns without fear.
- The Opportunity Paradox The less an accomplish, more success, doesn’t come from taking on every opportunity. It comes from qualifying deeply on the opportunities that matter—the 10x opportunities.
- The Money Paradox You have to risk losing money in order to make money.
- The Time Paradox You have to know your death in order to truly live your life.
- The Fear Paradox The thing we fear the most is often the thing we most need to do. Make a habit of getting closer to your fears. Treat them as magnets for your energy. You may find growth on the other side.
- The Fancy Car Paradox You see a fancy car and dream of the respect you’d get by driving it while ignoring the person actually in it. We all want respect. We believe fancy stuff will earn it. It won’t.
- The Looking Paradox Sometimes you have to stop looking in order to find what you’re looking for.
- The Failure Paradox You have to fail more to succeed more. Our greatest periods of growth often stem directly from our greatest moments of failure.
- The Wisdom Paradox The more you learn, the more you are exposed to the immense unknown. This should be empowering, not frightening.
- The Abilene Paradox Groups, out of fear, collectively make a decision that runs counter to the actual individual preferences of many members of the group. The natural desire to avoid ‘rocking the boat’ prevents people from speaking up.
- The Locksmith Paradox As the locksmith improves at his craft, customers become upset by the lower time input required to deliver a fixed output. Same results, but the perception of value changed.
- The Advice Paradox Takes more advice leaves you less well-equipped. Winners learn to filter and selectively implement advice—take the signal, skip the noise.
- The Persuasion Paradox Persuasive people don’t argue—they observe, listen, and ask questions. Argue less, persuade more.
- The Effort Paradox You have to put in more effort to make something appear effortless.
- The Productivity Paradox Work longer, accomplish less. Parkinson’s Law says that work expands to fill the time available for its completion. Work like a lion instead—sprint, rest, repeat.
- The Desire Paradox Desire leads to more achievement and more suffering. Desire is a powerful force for growth, but the quest for more often distracts from the beauty of enough.
- The Choice Paradox More choices less satisfaction. In a world of abundance, what we truly crave is scarcity.
- The Destruction Paradox Those who seek to destroy us sometimes spark the fire that allows us to grow. The injection of chaos makes you stronger.
- The Growth Paradox Growth happens gradually, then suddenly. The best things in life come from allowing compounding to work its magic.
- The Social Media Paradox More connectedness, less connected.
- The Speed Paradox Sometimes you have to slow down to speed up. Slowing down gives you the time to be deliberate with your actions.
- The Action Paradox Sometimes inaction is the most powerful action. Action is about progress. Stillness—inaction—can create it.