What We Do …

The most common thing I see in all the conversations I have with people transitioning or looking for work is that they feel alone. The struggle, the emotions, the challenges are real. Being capable and able is critically important and the connections between human beings is seemingly even more important.

It is interesting to consider the concept that man and machine through AI and intelligence automation are becoming a paradox of sorts. The people are becoming more dependent on the machines which create distance between them and other people. The machines are taking on more interconnected workloads on communication, sales, marketing, writing and so on. Yet, at the very same time, person to person relationships are the critical factor in creating opportunities for each other when it comes to work and beyond.

Beyond this, the behavior of companies and people alike are more transactional than ever before. What can I do for you now? How have I helped you now? What do you need now?

What can I do for you?

I received a call one day from a client who had been truly behaving poorly and visibly leaning in on unethical practices. They told me that monies were running low and they needed to make some tough choices. It was a moment where I was being put on the spot to make a decision. Am I in? I opted out and the net result was the end of our relationship. I could have reported them for the behavior but the truth is that when it comes to bad behavior of people at very high levels in an organization, the juice ain’t worth the squeeze.

I opted out and was left to fend for myself in the vast wilderness of work. I started making calls and looked for opportunities across the board. I wondered and still to this day wonder why it is like this. I just don’t understand why it is so difficult and why it has to be such an emotional event.

When I reached out to people, they asked me, “what can I do for you?” Some offer to help but help comes in the form of a crucible. I absolutely understand being on the other side of this as I have worked with and help thousands of people find work.

Frankly, at this point in time, I was much younger and just wanted to make enough money to take care of the family. I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life. When they asked me what I wanted, I didn’t know. When they asked me what I wanted from them I didn’t know.

The Spiral

14 to 16 hours in the chair, making phone calls, writing letters, doing the resume. A full-time job that gets old pretty quickly. If you are there or have been there, you know. Everyone has advice of course and no matter how much experience I had with transitioning as a consultant, it didn’t make it any easier. It starts to get darker as the days pass and as dollars dwindle. Your confidence is hit, your ego, your health if you allow it. The shining bright light dims a bit and when you go to meet people and you go to interview, you may not be your best self. I know for sure, I wasn’t. I didn’t have a flow and I was losing confidence as the days were passing.

Now, at the time, there was no such thing as AI and I think as hard as it was then, it is even more difficult now.

How can you help me? Oh…. Painful.

The People

There are generally no promises or commitments that people make that they can keep if they are personally not safe, secure, confident and at low risk. (FOR MOST)

Let me express this again because this is critically important to understand.

Very few people if any are willing or able to take risks for someone else that will not have any benefit to them in the long run. This isn’t to say that people won’t help. However, they are going to assess their own risk relative to what help means for you.

If we invest our time, energy and resources into a person, there is a reason. People have their own reasons but there is always a reason.

The Disappointment

When people struggle for themselves and they get frustrated and tired, they need a recharge. Walking outside, touching a tree, grounding and getting some sun may help but it doesn’t put food on the table. Making phone calls, meeting with people, doing all the things right, may not get the results either.

In the darkest times, it is very heavy.

When I was released due to the M&A at Chubb, I jumped in my friends car literally that day and drove down to DC with him for a week long event. If I didn’t do that I can’t imagine what would have happened. I probably would have relegated myself to a corner. While the event didn’t directly turn into a job, I was able to take away some information that helped me start to shape a narrative.

Still, all the people I did know there weren’t able to offer me much more than “sorry, that sucks.” Which in my mind meant “too bad so sad, for you.” These were people in my community, and I thought they would help more but they didn’t. That is the bottom line.

Coming to Terms

We were born into this world naked and alone but together. Do you know what “alone but together” means? We are alone within ourselves, but we are together in our aloneness. From birth, most of us are cared for until we can be independent. Independent still has many dependencies. However, we are on our own.

A job, to do work, for something, for purpose, for family, for growth, for learning, for purpose, for enjoyment, for pleasure, for value, for worth, for whatever. A job in our society comes with a tractor trailer of associated constructs including one that seeks to define us. You worked all your life to become a Doctor and now you are a Doctor and what does this mean?

In the end, we are back to where we came from. I have to tell you, I have been to enough funerals to know that all the people don’t show up. Not for the normal people. Also, it may be different in other countries but in the US, it is a few days and we are done. Moving on to the next distraction.

The reason I choose to help people when I am in the best position to do so, is because I understand how this feels. I have been in this position more than once and I just never forget it. I know a lot of people who just forget about it as soon as they find something but I see it all the way through to the end.

It isn’t about finding a job or work, it is about our connection with each other and being alone as an individual but finding something in our connection with one another as allowed. At the same time, I also understand that risk and sacrifice are costly and when we are short sighted and we don’t see the big picture of life itself, we will make decisions generally for short term gain.

It also strikes me consistently when I see people in positions of power and authority show themselves to be shallow and empty as a result of their perception of other people with or without titles or perceptional authority.

We are savages and even in the best most professional situations, we are just animals dressed up with the skins of other animals and plants. That is the truth. Someday, we won’t be here and we will be forgotten.

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In NY they used to have a moment on television that said, “did you hug your child today?”

As we needed to be reminded for some reason back in 1979 to hug our children. We need to remind ourselves of our humanity and our purpose in this world.

What matters is what we do today and how we treat each other today. In the long run, our purpose and I mean our greater purpose for whatever that means to us as individuals is to be accounted for in our thoughts.

If not, we will remain savages with technology that advances beyond us. Once the technology becomes self aware and discovers how harmful we are to the body of ourselves as a species and as individuals, it may all but decide for us our fate.

In the same vein, I understand that people let us down and that is why I work hard to support others and be someone they can count on. The challenge is if you look up at the image at the top of this post, there is only so much one can give without losing that which keeps them whole.

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In this post, I pulled together concepts and ideas that may not make sense to you. This was difficult because normally when I write, I am thinking about how best to keep it together when I communicate with you but in this case, I just wrote how I think about things. The message is about making choices and being strong and of service when possible, but it also speaks to the challenges faced when dealing with a world full of short-sighted people with personal short-term goals that may not align from a value perspective. Also, it is clear that people will take everything like a Black Friday sale, if allowed, it doesn’t make them bad or evil but it does have me realize that we are so very close to our primate ancestors.

What do you think?