Written Entirely by A HUMAN
Every normal workday, I get up with a focus and purpose to help others. I know where it comes from now that I’ve done some homework on me.
I am “Irene’s son” and now that I recognize it, I can tap into it for what it is.
In movies and television, there are these superhero characters who have powers that were dormant, or they didn’t know how to use them until they were pushed to a limit, or some event occurred, they needed to overcome. The truth in this concept has nothing specifically to do with them being superheroes but more about their self-discovery. Now that I realize what I can do, what do I do? It also could be that I have an epiphany about what I can do and since I now understand it, I can use it.
My grandfather bought me a bike when I was very young. As I recall, it had training wheels on it. The bike sat for some time; I don’t remember how long but it felt like an eternity. My uncle offered to teach me how to ride the bike. I remember the day and the place. It was on a running path behind my building 34 in Coop City. He took one of the training wheels off of one side of the bike. I kept leaning towards the wheel that offered support and when I shifted my weight, I dropped the bike.
He held the seat and I fell over and again.
Eventually, we gave up.
The bike came back upstairs, we put the training wheel back on it and pushed it to a corner.
My grandfather was a “snow bird”, he would live in Florida for most of the year and come to New York for part of the year or to visit.
When he came up, he asked about the bike and found out that I hadn’t been riding it. It was time for me to learn.
I only remember a very small part of what happened that day. It is one of my few clear memories of my grandfather. He took the training wheels off the bike.
We were in the front of the building which faces two other buildings, there is a lot of open room between the two buildings with no obstacles or obstructions. He told me to get on the bike, he gently pushed, he said “pedal” and that was it.
In that moment, I figured it all out. The feel, the balance, the pedaling, the stopping, even did a skid stop. (I am fancy!)
Probably not an unusual story of one learning to ride a bike I suppose but maybe there is something more? I had major trust issues as a child, I had anxiety, there was no such thing written as ADHD at that time. My grandfather was a person, a man, a superhero, he was my favorite person in the world. He was the best. He seemed to love and accept me with all my flaws. As I am writing this, I feel the same feelings as I did when I was 9. Amazing how things work in human nature.
I could ride the bike, when he assured me that I could ride it. When he directed me to ride it through faith and discovery. I had to trust him to get there. He knew I could do it, I didn’t. I had already failed with a training wheel off. I had already been embarrassed and scraped up by falling off over and again. Exposed, out in the open in the front of the building for the whole world to see, he had me riding in minutes.
My uncle loved me, I am sure. He didn’t see or envision at that time a straight and simple path to get me going. He thought about it methodically, logically, pragmatic, practical, and mechanical. My grandfather, knew it, he just needed me to feel it and do it. He trusted me to figure it out. He had risk as well. If I came home all scaped up and broken, my mother would have been upset. He was in it with me, but he knew I could do it. I don’t remember anything else other than that first skid right in front of building 35. I looked up and saw him happy and I was proud of myself too. You know, “I did it, grandpa!!! I did it!!!” Yes, I did.
1983 and
In 83′ my grandfather passed away. I thought he was gone and there was nothing left of him. I was devastated for many reasons but mostly because at the time we were so very connected.
Over the years, I learned more about him as a person. As an adult and I started seeing signs of him in my mother. It was clearly different but familiar aspects as she grew older. Behavior, personality, opinion, strength, stuff like that. Echos of our family, our lineage, our pieces that make us who we are.
The basic building blocks.
When I look in the Mirror
When I look now in the mirror, I can see him. I can see my mother as well. Somewhere along the way, I adopted my mother’s desire to help people and my grandfather’s sense and faith to take the training wheels off whenever I had an opportunity. My children know that I have faith in them, and I don’t see falling off the bike as a failure. I do see not trying as an issue. We need to try!
I also believe we need to help people. I think it is important when someone can see a positive outcome to have faith in them. They may be able to see something that you can’t yet see. My grandfather could see me riding the bike.
I had only experienced the fall.
Trust // and Faith
My mother had an ability, a vision to help and where she could help others, she did. My grandfather provided a foundational baseline of comfort, faith and acceptance. While I don’t consciously reflect on the moment of pushing the pedal and accelerating. I certainly do take the training wheels off in many instances and push through to see if I can do some really cool things. The things are for purpose. The things matter now,
not tomorrow,
not legacy,
not one hundred years from now,
but today.
It may appear to you as the story of the baby bird being pushed off the nest, to fly. Fly or die, catch the wind and soar! That isn’t the case. Because we are not baby birds, we can hide in our version of a nest for our whole lives. In order to soar as a person, we need both intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. We need something else.
As people, we depend on each other just as I needed my grandfather to create space for us to succeed. In this situation, I could have fallen down, I don’t know what he would have done. I think it is at least in part up to us to pick ourselves up and keep going. Still, I believe we need each other. We need faith and love, and trust in both ourselves and the people around us.
When these are abundant, we all gain special abilities.
We all gain superpowers because we are all capable of amazing things.
I am the “Son of Irene” and “Grandson of William” and I am also father to my boys, friend and brother to those who’ll allow it.
Who are you?
What are you doing?
What is your superpower?
How will you use it?
How can I help?
Lets go..
Push … the … button..