Manhattan, late afternoon on the way in, it was pouring rain, and I was heading into the city for a meeting. As I got off the train, the smells of Penn Station flooded my senses. Today, it smells a lot different than it used to way back in the 80’s and 90 somethings. Growing up in Coop City, we would call Manhattan “the city” and I rarely enjoyed going into the city. All said, it didn’t smell like urine and marijuana everywhere we went back then. Hard for me to imagine today that I’d ever go to the city on a daily basis for work. I traveled down to SOHO to meet a friend and that is where this story begins.
I had to get on the train to go a few stops down before Canal. It was the E or C train, and I got on the A because it looked like it was going in the right direction. Of course, I missed the stop because I was on the wrong train. I am aggravated already, and I have to get off the train and hop on the other direction. I don’t remember ever having to pay twice but of course, beep through with another payment to the great NYC.
I walk off the train into the station with backpacks blaring, people playing loud music as they walk. Not enough today to have headphones on and blast yourself out, you need to let us know what you are listening to. I head up the stairs and pass a few hands out by people who are either working the system or legitimately in need of help. Regardless, the air is thick and humid with rancid nastiness. Heading to see my friend is my cause and my goal. This is why I am here.
Side note: What if someone offered me a lot of money to work in the city? Would I say no? The short answer is yes, I would NOT go into Manhattan on a daily basis for work.
Sounds to me like a reasonable position but not unlike other things I have said to people, it falls on deaf ears.
Find my way to the building I am meeting him in, now I am safe and comfortable, it is time to go to work.
Whachoo Rrr or What – Yes, What I am is What I am
I met with my friend, did some work and had other plans for the evening further uptown. My willingness to go into Manhattan wasn’t a direct reflection of my interest in having a business conversation. It was more about meeting my friend earlier and making space for this other thing while I already happened to be there.
People believe things about you that are really more a reflection on their own personal way of thinking about themselves. In other words, they take some part of their perspective and place it on you. They also only know one version of you. In essence, the “you” others perceive is a mosaic of their psychological filters, cultural conditioning, and lived experiences. Embracing this complexity fosters deeper connections, even when perspectives clash.
What I have recently focused on is the idea that when I say something to people, they may not actually know what to do with what I have said to them.
It was raining, the air was very humid and it was starting to get cold. I had a backpack on and I wasn’t feeling great as I had hurt myself a few days before. I was wondering to myself why I was allowing myself to go on this trip without just turning around and getting on the train home. One reason is I made a promise to a friend that I’d take the meeting, so I decided to see it through. I believe in showing up.
We got to the restaurant, and it was in fact the wrong place. There were two locations and of course we went to the wrong one. They had room to seat us, and we were able to get in but honestly everything about this is annoying.
While I sat at the table, looking around, I was thinking about my sister. The room was dark, with a lot of background noise. The chatter and conversations were not anything I could decipher but it was loud. I was kind of laughing because I really don’t feel comfortable in this place. I don’t feel like I belong here and most of these people are wearing layers of masks doing their business. Mr. business doing their business and making deals. I just wanted to get out of there. An expensive steak doesn’t taste special to me. The servers seeking to pour more water in my glass while I am talking is honestly annoying.
I look people in the eyes and tell them my truth. Not to be nasty or anything but to be clear. I believe being clear is an important part of being kind. It is something that I have more recently been thinking a lot about. When I tell people what I think, they just don’t know what to do with it. Maybe they think I am full of it like so many others that say things they don’t mean.
We live in a world where we need to qualify authenticity as opposed to expecting it naturally. When you are naturally authentic, people can’t process it.
Of course this is why I mentally go right to my sister. She is naturally authentic, and it makes me smile as I know that she would sit at the table with me and tell the Mr. or Mrs. Business her truth. They wouldn’t know how to deal with her either.
The meeting went well, we agreed on the finer points and details, and I found myself in the pouring rain many blocks away from Penn Station. It was getting late, and I’d be hitting the last train home. Now that I am getting older, I can see the difference between transactional relationships and deeper connections.
To some, we are commodities. As I reflect on this, it is important to make sure that we establish our boundaries and be clear as to what we will allow. People may not believe us because they may believe we are hungry for money or power in the same way that they are. In fact, I have seen many people say that they “didn’t care” about the money but still were hooked like addicts.
In this world, we are born with nothing, but our flesh and we leave it with nothing at all. The memory of us is fleeting in time and we are not even a speck of dust in the vortex of time. It means, that we should always aim and strive for our best versions of ourselves in the most authentic and clear view from OUR individual perspective not those held by others. Also, don’t do anything you don’t want to do because in the end, it won’t matter anyway. Live your best life.
- Clarity is Kindness: Speaking your truth directly isn’t rude—it’s a gift. Clear communication saves time and fosters genuine understanding.
- Authenticity is Rare: In a world where authenticity feels like an anomaly, being naturally authentic can confuse others. Stay true to yourself regardless.
- Honor Your Commitments: Even when inconvenient, following through on promises builds character and strengthens relationships.
- Discomfort is Insight: Feeling out of place is often your inner compass pointing you toward what truly aligns with your values. Listen to it.
- Set Boundaries Without Apology: Know your limits and stand firm. Others may project their desires onto you, but your boundaries are yours to protect.
- Don’t Chase What Doesn’t Matter: Money and power are alluring but fleeting. Don’t sacrifice your peace or authenticity for things that won’t matter in the end.
- Life is Fleeting—Live Fully: We are temporary beings in an infinite timeline. Focus on living authentically and striving for your best self from your perspective—not someone else’s.
- Transactional vs. True Connections: Learn to distinguish between relationships that treat you as a commodity and those that value you as a person. Invest in the latter.
Final Thought
At the end of it all, life isn’t about pleasing others or chasing illusions of success—it’s about living with purpose, honesty, and joy in alignment with who you truly are. Live your best life, unapologetically.
As always, thank you Stacey! By the way, did I mention she is a Pastry Chef???
