My Stetson is Wrinkled

I didn’t feel like writing the blog today. I sat down, had some coffee, pulled up the chair and I had nothing and everything there at the same time. Do you know what I mean? I had NOTHING and everything. Everything being too much of the nonsense and craziness of the world we live in.

I am not just talking about politics. I am talking about the constant flood and flow of everything. If you asked me to define everything, it would be anything over something and I tell you, I am not interested in dealing with something or almost anything. Why? Because it turns into everything.

I speak with a lot of people during the normal work week. I don’t make as many calls as I receive, that is for sure, but I take a lot of calls. At least in my small world, I don’t need AI to tell me what is concerning people these days. People are looking for work, they are trying to find something they believe is normal. It seems that we are consistently falling through some kind of quantum vortex multiverse conundrum.

The MOST top of mind

I guess I can summarize how I feel the best way based on my experience yesterday at Costco. We went to Costco in Edison, New Jersey. The hustle and bustle is real with cars stacked up all along the driveway. The store was moving like a bazaar in center city. People were everywhere, pushing, shoving, stopping to grab food from the sample folks. Literally, people would eat something and throw the garbage or food over their shoulder or just drop it. As we sought to navigate the store, we were caught in the tide. The people drew us like water to the moon from one place to another. It was very difficult to cut through and get anywhere. Nearly impossible to navigate without thinking and some pushing and shoving. A Costco employee was lamenting about her current experience and saying out loud how she felt about what was happening. I don’t need to repeat what she said, but let us just say, she wasn’t happy.

Well, isn’t it the world we now live in? We don’t give a care about anyone. but ourselves. We are more transactional than ever in our behavior. If we try to help someone, there is suspicion. As we celebrate the life of the Pope https://cohenovate.com/2015/09/27/lesson-from-the-pope/ I am reminded of what I wrote 10 years ago.

We are so connected that we are disconnected.  It is that simple.   The lesson that I took from the Pope during this visit was to look up over the phone, the tablet, the laptop, the book, the newspaper or whatever it is that has us distracted and find ways to be a connector.

Just one day before, Pope Francis was late on his trip to Philadelphia, we had the news on in the background and I was pouring a cup of coffee.   The Pope was stepping off the airplane and into his car for his drive over to Philly.   I heard one of the commentators ask why the car was stopping.   I looked up and walked towards the television to see what was happening.  The Pope had stopped his car and gotten out, he walked over to a boy in a wheelchair, he leaned over, and he kissed his head.  He looked up and held the hands of the boy’s mother; she was full of tears and saying, “Thank you, thank you.”  I immediately started to tear up in appreciation for the true kindness and totality of this act.   The world was literally waiting for him (Pope Francis) but no one at that moment was more important to him over this family.    For the boy, maybe nothing, for the parents, it was hope.   It is this recognition that we must have hope and that we must build trust and relationships beyond some social network construct.   We must practice good listening and empathy over broadcasting.  We must become “connectors.”

You don’t need my advice, and I am not giving it to you

If we are only transactional in the moment in that we believe we are benefiting for only the short run. We are absolutely doomed. Throwing the wrapper over the shoulder in Costco is at least a reflection on our truth of today and at most a realization that we must change our behavior. Regardless of the reason, regardless of the indication whether leading or not, it is a fact. The world is full of criminals, mafia, clans, and tribes. Increasingly, the walls are closing in on us and the damage to our world is becoming much more obvious. It isn’t just the political, social, health and global implications that are becoming increasingly top of mind. It is the day-to-day health, well-being and our ability to live with each other on this planet. We have enough room for all of us; we have enough resources and with our intelligence we can live together in peace. We as species don’t seemingly have a desire to do this.

Ten years ago, I wrote about how we should become connectors based on the actions of Pope Francis. What is most interesting to me today is a note I found from my grandmother dated Feb 3, 1992. I will share what she wrote and change the context to the world instead of a younger me.

Dear World,
So, you did it again!! I’ll never understand why you can’t control the temptation! Not only do you get sick, but the money & consequences it cost you, in so many ways –

When are you going to learn that’s not the way to overcome your frustrations? Do you realize when you called your mother last Tuesday … how your mother and I felt –

Uncle and I were so happy with the time we spent with you, but you took all the joy & pleasure out of that visit with what you ended up doing –
I’m really very disappointed with your lack of self-discipline – So no matter what we or anybody told you, it means nothing to you!!

I’m sorry World, if you don’t get your act together now, you’re going to have a problem as you get older – you can’t cop out every time things don’t go your way!!

Your other grandmother just called – I didn’t tell her what you did –
She wanted to know how you got back after you left her. She wanted me to send her regards because she has a problem writing because of her hand. She mentioned she could write a card, that you may get from her, maybe…

I would like to know what happened after you finally made it back –
Please write whenever you can – I would like to receive mail from you –

Do you know this song? – “With all your faults, I love you still…”
My feelings for you are the same. I just don’t approve of the way you handle any situation –

Love you,
Grandma

The actual note was talking about me missing ships movement while I was in the Navy. A hurricane hit the coast of south Florida, and I didn’t get back to the ship in time. I stayed on the beach and watched it leave. I didn’t get in trouble because technically they had no way to reach guys like me out on leave, but at the time, we thought I was in trouble. The first few years of being in the Navy, I had a rough adjustment.

My grandmother’s note is a reminder to me after all these years that we are responsible for our actions, there are consequences and that we can still love unconditionally but the pain we inflict on others due to our selfish behavior is real and measurable. I think the song she was referring to was “It had to be you” by Frank Sinatra.

Conclusion: Unwrinkling Our World, One Connection at a Time

As I sit here, my Stetson wrinkled from wear, I realize those creases aren’t just marks of time-they’re reminders of the chaos I’ve navigated, the “everything” that threatens to drown out the “something” worth holding onto. The world today feels like that overcrowded Costco in Edison, New Jersey-a relentless tide of self-interest, discarded wrappers, and fleeting transactions. We’re so connected that we’ve forgotten how to truly see each other, lost in a quantum vortex of noise and distraction.

Yet, in the quiet echoes of my grandmother’s words from 1992, I hear a timeless truth: our actions matter, our choices have consequences, and love-unconditional as it may be-doesn’t erase the pain of our selfishness. Her disappointment in my youthful irresponsibility mirrors the collective frustration I sense in the voices I hear every day, from clients to strangers, all searching for normalcy in a fractured world. And then there’s the memory of Pope Francis, pausing a waiting world to kiss a boy’s forehead-a simple act that sliced through the “everything” to remind us of hope, empathy, and connection.

I’m not here to offer advice, because as I’ve learned, true change isn’t preached-it’s practiced. So today, I’m folding up the distractions, looking up from the screen, and asking myself-and you-how can we be connectors again? How can we smooth out just one wrinkle in this messy, beautiful world? Maybe it starts with a kind word in a crowded store, a moment of patience, or a letter to someone who needs to know they’re seen. As Frank Sinatra might croon, “With all your faults, I love you still.” Let’s love this world enough to change how we handle it. What connection will you make today?