What is it that you need to know today?
One of my children just got accepted to a great university. While I am extremely proud of him for this accomplishment, I am even more proud of him for the way he did it.
Today, the competition for education is strange and unclear. There is a system in place, with rules and regulations. At the same time, it seems a bit chaotic. What we have come to understand is that rules are for the middle. The middle being the people who aren’t classified as poor or the people who aren’t extremely rich.
The ultrarich can literally donate their way into anything while the underprivileged can benefit from other means.
In high school, the kids were constantly concerned about their grades, competition, athletics, and being extremely good at everything to inch their way into the college they wanted. Four years of effort, pushing and learning, competing but only for the sake of achieving the goal of entry.
Yesterday, I was in Princeton, and the campus was seemingly disproportionate relative to the US population. Regardless, it speaks to how the system is designed. (He isn’t going to Princeton)
The reason this is important is because it speaks to what happens after high school and college. Regardless of what system of systems, you find yourself in, you’ll have to figure this out because you are part of it.
Today, I’ll deconstruct this at a very high level based on what he chose to do and align this with things you can choose to do.
SAT
High school is filled with pressure. You are in a social environment, you are dealing with school politics, you deal with pressure on and about education. The thing that is lost in school now is that students are supposed to learn things but instead, they are measured by testing and meeting objectives and specific goals. If the goal is to say what I heard and repeat it to the extent that I can repeat it a bunch of times for a bunch of different examinations, I pass.
If the goal is to learn, we wouldn’t punish children for attaining a “C.” In fact, the kids that are getting all high-performance grades are suffering for many reasons.
What my son chose to do was look the system and figure out what he could do and achieve his goals. There were many things that he wasn’t clear on but the things that he knew for certain, were the things that he focused on.
One day, he came to us and told us that he wasn’t going to take the SAT. At first, I thought to push him and maybe I suggested that he do it a time or two. He asked me to trust him, and he told me that he didn’t want to do it.
He didn’t take the SAT. While other students were struggling and stressing over testing, he spent more time learning how to speak other languages. He became highly fluent in one and can understand a few others.
He took the pressure off and created an environment where he could learn and grow.
Over the four years, his grades were pretty good but not all A’s. He did what he felt comfortable doing and he invested time learning what he was interested in and what he felt was important. If he thought math was important and he could see how it would help him, he invested the energy.
The school was pushing him and instead of pushing back, he just acknowledged what they wanted and did what he believed was right for himself. He came to us for advice when he needed it but for the most part, we were hands off.
Ultimately, he built confidence and became extremely independent. When it came time for him to really make decisions about college, he informed us that he was going to a local community college.
The system has edges that even the middle can access.
Many other kids were off to college. We heard all the common stories of some kids being successful and others having to regroup. Many kids had been pushed and coddled by their parents and getting to a big school meant major change. It is an old story but so difficult today.
What did he do? He chose his classes; he met with the advisors on his own. He came back to share what he was going to do. There was pressure to learn and some pressure in class and some frustration as you might expect but, he did this on his terms.
His grades and performance were very good, better than in high school. He figured out tools and mechanisms to be successful in meeting the schools’ criteria while making it something that he could also learn from.
When it came time to decide on what he would do next, his grades and performance were a bridge to the next school. He set his mind and attention on what he wanted, and he was able to get into the program and the school of his choice.
The Method
He calls his approach “the method.” He looks at all the factors, what he wants to achieve, the risks and the pain associated with it. If the pain threshold is too high, he doesn’t brute force his way into success.
Most of us work harder, do more, take more action until we get tired. It would be nice if high school students were concerned about education and understanding of the world they are about to enter as opposed to being prepared for examination and having to beat out competition.
While there is nothing wrong with competition within itself, we should be inclusive when it comes to education. True diversity in education would be much more valuable than whatever it is that we are doing today.
If you are wondering how schools should bring students in when there are limited resources and available seats, the answer is first come, first serve, a full well rounded view of the student and lottery. It doesn’t have to be complicated.
How about you?
You followed the rules and did all your work. You submitted your resumes and networked with people and did all the things. Why isn’t it working?
You are more likely that not in the middle. There are always edge cases and people who are ultra successful. After all, you have people today making millions on eating crab cakes on YouTube for you to watch. There are also famous people who tell you obvious wisdom with millions of followers and so on and so on. The system isn’t built for fairness.
The system is built by us but we are the many not the one. This means that it is flawed and vulnerable because the many or the one can’t know all the things about the system. It knows some specific things but not all the specifics of all the things. There is a difference.
It means you can chill out in high school, do “ok” and not stress yourself out and get into a great college. It also means you can do that same in life and work.
If you think that you need to get into the top right quadrant to get promoted and get a raise, you are following the rules within a box that you don’t need to follow. You CAN do this and find success if this is what you want but you are competing at a different level. A lower level of thinking.
Your METHOD
| The Old Way (Brute Force) | The Method (Strategic Autonomy) |
| Focus: Beat the competition. | Focus: Ignore the competition; play your own game. |
| Tactic: Work harder/longer. | Tactic: Work where the leverage is highest. |
| Goal: Please the teacher/boss. | Goal: Build personal value and independence. |
| Mindset: “I hope they pick me.” | Mindset: “I will build a bridge to where I want to go.” |
| Step | The Question | Example (The Son) | Example (The Professional) |
| 1. Define the Goal | What is the actual outcome I need? | To get into a good university. | To get a 20% raise/promotion. |
| 2. Identify the Default | What does “The System” say I must do? | Take SATs, stress over AP classes, panic. | Work overtime, join committees, wait for annual review. |
| 3. The Pain Audit | Is the Default sustainable? Does it hurt? | Yes, high anxiety and wasted time. | Yes, burnout and resentment. |
| 4. The “Method” (Side Door) | How can I achieve #1 without doing #2? | Transfer from Comm. College; focus on languages. | Switch companies; learn AI tools to automate work; pitch a specific high-value project. |
Summary
If you make a decision and you have intention and you put this intention out to the universe, you can manifest your intention to the extent that it is realistic.
If it is a realistic goal but a stretch, this is not just in the realm of possible, it can become real. I’ll leave you with a few examples and my hope is that you will think about this for yourself.
I love education, when I was a student, I didn’t like education because it wasn’t on my terms and I had problems learning the way the education system was pushing for me to learn. Over the years, I became proficient in many different areas of learning and at one point in my career, I was teaching at a prestigious university. Put this into perspective please, I couldn’t get into the university as a student, but I was able to become a professor. I have the card, a t-shirt and sweatshirt to prove it! The point is that the system made it impractical for me to achieve this goal one way but inviting in another.
There are many opportunities for YOU reader to do the things that YOU want to do. You just need to see where the opening is and get involved.
Invest your time and energy where you believe that you will get the best results and outcome and be practical about it. Learn about the system and the environment and you will find successful outcomes that you hadn’t previously seen or imagined.