I don’t know what to write.

Every week I write this blog to address mostly work related concepts.   Every once in a while when something important comes up or I am feeling that I want to go into something more personal I write about it.   I mostly have written with the idea that I am contributing to in my own way to help people.

A few weeks ago I wrote about our family friend Rebecca.   I was moved by how many people responded to that post and how people reached out to me.   I am not sure about how others write but I find myself backspacing and writing over what I say often because I am concerned that I am not getting my thoughts out effectively.   When it comes to writing for business, it isn’t hard to put the words down because I am addressing things that I consider logical or factual.  It is difficult with emotional concepts though and frankly I am a sensitive person.

Today is different.  I have backspaced a few times but I am just writing out what I am thinking here without major concern.  I normally think about what I will write about during the week and I will talk about concepts or concerns with close friends.   I try to share with purpose.  I was thinking this week about how cloud computing has taken a turn for the worse.  I read those information weekly trade magazines all the time and I get a mailbox full of those different IT magazines.   You know the ones with the articles that are hidden advertisements with a hint of honesty thrown in for good measure.     I was then thinking about writing about how all these holidays are bullshit and frustrating especially since I live towards the south and most people down here don’t understand much about Jews.   Those were some of the things until yesterday.   I normally write on Sundays it is a good close to the end of the week and beginning of the next.   Today is Saturday but I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to have nothing to write about so I am writing today.

Yesterday morning we got a phone call from our bank that our credit cards were used in California and somewhere else.  Of course it was a very nice robot call “You have an account that has suspicious activity, if you are *** please hit the number 1.”  Great!  Well at least I am thankful for the protection, it was only a few months ago that someone broke into my car while my family was at a park and took my wife’s purse.  Now we will have to go through the drill of getting new cards and billing and…… then in the early afternoon while I was contributing to a work related discussion on how my company is moving paid time off around it happened.   It was the same thing as 9-11 to me, I could only watch in horror.   Then all of the social channels lit up like fire and the media storm started.  For me the first thing I had seen was 10 children were killed and then some how it turned to 20 people and then 27.   Facebook was swelling with posts that forced it to stream like water.   Then I lost my words..

Death comes for us all, one way or another.  My son just asked “who is G-d’s mother?”  and “What if he didn’t have one?”  as I am I writing this.   He doesn’t have any idea of what happened yesterday, we didn’t tell the kids.. yet.    So, this morning I am reflecting on the conversation I had with my friend Frank the other day about death.   I am thinking about all the things that were important to me in the morning as opposed to all of the things that are important to me today.   Our world is ending in 2012, we have not evolved we have revolved.  We forget everything history teaches us and for all of our technology and our sophistication we are ignorant adult children.

  • Our government has us in debt.
  • Our politicians are all liars and out for themselves individually.
  • Any honest Journalist is pushed out of the news business.
  • Our children can’t play outside.
  • We are robbed while we work, play and live and don’t know it until someone lets us know.
  • Everything that is built and sold is crap.
  • All of the technology I own is not finished.
  • My clothes were made by slaves.
  • There is still genocide.
  • We are more threatened today by nuclear and chemical attacks then ever before in history.
  • We live in fear.
  • We don’t have work.
  • We are fighting wars that we can’t and won’t win.
  • Our children… OUR CHILDREN are killed.

The list can go on and on.   I am an American and I am angry and I am hurt and I am frustrated and I don’t even know what to do about it because everywhere I look people are corrupted by fear and politics.   2012 is the end, it has to be because what we are doing as a society isn’t working.   I have no idea what is next and I guarantee that the families of the children in Connecticut don’t know either.


3 thoughts on “I don’t know what to write.

  1. Howie, all life is precious to G~D; young or old. Think of the average human life span be it 78 or 100 years or if it is one month or 8 years. This time is only a fraction of time in eternity and insignificant to G~Ds time. To G~D we are all like little children regardless of our age; G~D is all knowing; so even Einstein is like a little kid to G~D. What is missing today; and you nailed it; is lack of HOPE. Americans and the world of humans are starting to show signs of hopelessness. When we give in to this feeling; we negate our Creator and his abilities to transform the world through us. There are always beautiful things that happen even in tragedies. For a recent example; the teacher that protected her students; and the very young people within the classrooms that acted with heroic courage and calm in the face of danger. It is these actions we need to rejoice about; as these are the actions we need to build upon as we know good people live on this planet and we need to emulate and support them especially now when we feel no hope is left for humanity.
    I feel that Jews and Christians share a common bond that we need to share G~D’s light which His love for the world is. In doing so we always desire G~D’s kingdom on earth. When I was a very young man I had a Polish American Jewish friend, Larry Fogel whose parents got out during WWII. He lived on the street behind mine. Once he went to church with my brother and me at his request. He was young and curious. While sitting there and looking up at the large crucifixion in our church; he turned and asked me do I blame the Jews for Christ’s crucifixion? That question actually shocked my brother and me; for we never had thought about it before that moment. We knew at that young age; that Christ was a Jew and so were the 12 Apostles and if it wasn’t for the Jews; there would be no incarnate Christ. My brother and I explained that it wasn’t the Jews that killed Christ; but the sins of the world that He took upon himself to show us how we need to be as members of G~D’s kingdom. From that moment on I have always believed in my heart that the Jews were waiting still for the Messiah’s first appearance on earth while the Christian’s were waiting for his return. For that reason; we are linked to G~D’s grand plan to bring the His kingdom to humanity. So, let us not lose HOPE.

    It is Sunday night and I want to share the readings with you for today’s Service; as it is in anticipation of the Messiah that the words in the Old and New Testament reflect. I thought as our Priest did today, the words here are appropriate for our world to remember in these dark hours of despair; that G~D the almighty gives us HOPE and never to quit and let our hearts be empty of this Hope for he is coming.
    Zephaniah 3
    14 Sing aloud, O daughter of Zion; shout, O Israel! Rejoice and exult with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem!
    15 The LORD has taken away the judgments against you, he has cast out your enemies. The King of Israel, the LORD, is in your midst; you shall fear evil no more.
    16 On that day it shall be said to Jerusalem: “Do not fear, O Zion; let not your hands grow weak.
    17 The LORD, your God, is in your midst, a warrior who gives victory; he will rejoice over you with gladness, he will renew you in his love; he will exult over you with loud singing
    18 as on a day of festival. “I will remove disaster from you, so that you will not bear reproach for it.

    Isaiah 12
    2 “Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.”
    3 With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.
    4 And you will say in that day: “Give thanks to the LORD, call upon his name; make known his deeds among the nations, proclaim that his name is exalted.
    5 “Sing praises to the LORD, for he has done gloriously; let this be known in all the earth.
    6 Shout, and sing for joy, O inhabitant of Zion, for great in your midst is the Holy One of Israel.”

    Philippians 4
    4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.
    5 Let all men know your forbearance. The Lord is at hand.
    6 Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
    7 And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

    Luke 3
    10 And the multitudes asked him, “What then shall we do?”
    11 And he answered them, “He who has two coats, let him share with him who has none; and he who has food, let him do likewise.”
    12 Tax collectors also came to be baptized, and said to him, “Teacher, what shall we do?”
    13 And he said to them, “Collect no more than is appointed you.”
    14 Soldiers also asked him, “And we, what shall we do?” And he said to them, “Rob no one by violence or by false accusation, and be content with your wages.”
    15 As the people were in expectation, and all men questioned in their hearts concerning John, whether perhaps he were the Christ,
    16 John answered them all, “I baptize you with water; but he who is mightier than I is coming, the thong of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie; he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire.
    17 His winnowing fork is in his hand, to clear his threshing floor, and to gather the wheat into his granary, but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire.”
    18 So, with many other exhortations, he preached good news to the people.


    1. I think the shooter felt that he didn’t have anything left. Surely there is still goodness in this world; a smiling baby or a person that is kind to someone; a mother’s love; the tear that comes to our eyes when we are full of love for the beauty we see in the world. Despair is a downward spiral and no good will come of it, I know this personally for my own brother committed suicide when he didn’t have any hope in his heart. He didn’t take other lives with him; at least physically but his despair made me think that I didn’t do enough for him when he was alive. All we can do is keep trying to encourage each other to love one another.


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